Sometimes raising a girl is TERRIFYING!

Last week, I came across the TV show Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC. In just the 30 minutes that it was on, I saw a 4 year old wearing fake boobs (as part of a Dolly Parton costume, but STILL), a 5 year old and a 9 year old wearing fake teeth, a 9 year old getting her eye brows waxed, and more. I could not believe my eyes. It is so hard to raise a little girl to find value in her personality, brain, humor, etc when society places so much emphasis on how she looks. A 2007 study by the American Psychological Association linked a premature emphasis on appearance with “three of the most common health problems of girls and women: eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression.”

On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are parents like the mother and father of baby Storm, who sent out their baby's birth announcement without stating whether the baby was a boy or a girl. They plan to raise their baby without a gender. Not even their closest family members know the sex of the baby. Although I think this is an interesting idea, this kind of choice is just not for me. 

Whether we like it or not, we do live in this society. There are parts of it that we can embrace. I LOVE being a woman! I LOVED being a girl! I loved barbies, princesses dress up, and all things girly while growing up. So, naturally, I share those things that I love with my daughter. I am not a mom that avoids "cutesy" girly things. My daughter wears tutus, bows and pink and her room is decorated in a princess theme. I do take the time to tell her each day that she is pretty. I think that while there are some extremes to avoid, such as a 4 year old wearing fake boobs, I think it is still important to build up my daughter's self esteem by letting her know how beautiful she is, because there are girls who go their entire life without their mother ever telling them that they are pretty. But, I also take the time to let her know that she is smart, talented, fun, silly, etc. I compliment her on all of the amazing things about her. I try not to have the focus be on her looks, but on everything that is great about her.

When baby M is old enough to make her own decisions about what she wears, what activities she likes, etc, I will let her be the one to decide. If she wants to be a tomboy, I will support it. So far, it seems like she likes to be girly too. She is always playing with my necklaces, she loves it when I put them on her for photos, she loves to play with her tutus when she is wearing them. Until she tells me she doesn't like it, I am enjoying dressing her up and having fun, just within boundaries. I think the extremes that are seen on Toddlers and Tiaras are taking things just a little bit too far. I think that children should NEVER have their hair dyed, eye brows waxed, teeth whitened, wear make up (unless it is halloween or for play time), wear fake boobs etc. The amount of attention that is placed on looks and beauty in the pageant arena are just a little WAY too much for me.

What are your thoughts? How much emphasis should be placed on feminine things when raising a girl? Do you avoid gender specific things all together? Does your daughter wear dresses and bows? Does your daughter do pageants? What do you think about baby Storm's parent's decision?