Saturday, July 2, 2011
What I have learned during the past 4 months
Hi, my name is Brooke, and I am a researching, book reading, online baby shopping addict. I have always been very "by the book". As a new mom, I have learned that no amount of books or articles that I read could prepare me for motherhood. There are really no "right" answers. Every baby is different. I am the type of person that tries to plan out every aspect of my life, but there is no planning when it comes to being a mom. I had planned to breast feed, use disposable diapers, be a working mom, and follow baby wise when it came to schedules, feeding and sleeping. I am a formula feeding, cloth diapering mom who semi demand feeds and also TRIES to keep on some sort of a schedule with feedings. There are things that I thought I would NEVER do and was so grossed out by that I am now obsessed with and love doing (cloth diapers). I have learned when it comes to being a mom, the baby is the book for me to learn from and that I can't set any expectations. M's personality, different health issues with feeding, finances, circumstances with the economy, and more have led to the plans changing. I have learned to let go of some of my control issues and "go with the flow". There is no book or system that is going to work for every baby. With every single aspect of parenting and babies, there are going to be 15 different view points that all contradict each other. For every baby product there are going to be good reviews, bad reviews and recalls. For every medical issue there will advice that I will agree with, not agree with, differing medical research, and differing opinions even at the doctors office. I just have to take all of it with a grain of salt and decide what works best for M and our family. I don't doubt that the advice given by other moms worked for their baby, but every baby is different. I have learned to NEVER judge another mom! What works for me, may not work for them. There may be things that I wouldn't ever do with M that they do every day with their baby, and that is ok! There have been babies since the beginning of time, and we all survived! We have been using the products that are now recalled, we have been doing the things that research now says not to do.... and we all made it out ok, for the most part. :) I will continue to research and make educated decisions, but I will try not to be so "Brooke" about it. My baby is my book for me to learn from. I will make mistakes along the way and learn from them, but they are my mistakes to be made and I will embrace them. It is my goal to move forward with no regrets and no guilt. Sure, there are things that I wish I knew 4 months ago or that I would do differently the next time. But, there is no going back now. I know that I have the best intentions and am doing the best that I can. M is a VERY happy baby who is always smiling and laughing. I am the happiest I have ever been now that she is in my life. My best friend gave me an amazing piece of advice that really stuck with me, she said "If you are happy, and your baby is happy, what else matters?". I couldn't agree more. Another quote I read today that I really like is "There is no way to be a perfect mom, but a million ways to be a good one".